whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize