the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
