These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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