Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
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i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
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I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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