So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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