Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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