and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
