I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize