i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you traded sex for a burrito?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
