You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
they need to just BURY HIM!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize