I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize