quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
