Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
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