I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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