Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
