I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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