Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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