so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
We named our party play list daddy issues
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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