I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
