ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
