Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
