I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
