do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
