Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize