D3 body, D1 cock
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I need mimosas to revive my soul
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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