Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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