We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
