He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
