Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My vagina is very pro this idea
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
