I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
