like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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