If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
