dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
