I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
