SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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