Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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