This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Dignity is for republicans.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
