Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
