what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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