How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize