I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
