His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize