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I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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