they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
