he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
