Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
