Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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