And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
COCAINE IS GR8
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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