but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
