What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
