Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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