Where are you?
In a non slutty way
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
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Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
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Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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