hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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