note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
