could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My feet surprised me
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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