So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
