so that wasnt chicken after all
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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