she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
