i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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