I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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