i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
