Plan B is the new Plan A
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
