i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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