You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
